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The Little Mr. Sac-Face

Vorwort mit Kassowart von Sondermühlen

In vielen Übersetzungen liegen die reizlosen Prosastückchen Onkel Hottes mittlerweile vor. In Seswati zum Beispiel, der Amtssprache Swasilands, heißt sein jüngstes Werk Göalabat balabada. Aber auch in Englisch, einem germanisch gallischen Kauderwelsch, das von rothaarigen Fußballfans am Rande Europas gesprochen wird, erschienen seine Märchen. Von ihm selbst gelesen übrigens.

Uncle Hotte's fairy tale hour

Hello kiddies. This is being your Uncle Hotte again. With a new storylein of my greatartig bookl..., booklchen "Lady Di, jetzt geht's dabei(1)" and it does been called the fairy talelyly of "The Little Mr. Sac-Face". Well then.
Once or even twice upon a time ago there did be a little small boy, eh people, who was really really fucking ugly indeed. He was even more fucking ugly than the most fuckiest super ugly man in the world, yes. So fuck..., so slipping together ugly did he be doing be. Even I myself could seuretically vomit right into the Gerät hier(2) if I only think about him. Because of his bogy-faced outlooking all the peoples only called the little Arschkeks(3) only the little Mr. Sac-Face and they even cried it after him in the streets if he did be going on the sunny site of them. This really made him depressive sometimes and some other times even sogar(4) sad. But one day very suddenly indeed there made it woosh-dy-woosh and flash-dy-flash and in it's room his middle stood..., was stooding a good Fee(5)..., a witch..., a fairy ultra and it said: "Hello little Mr. Sac-Face I'm a good fairy and I did do come to do help you." "Hohohoho, super super geil(6) fantastic even", said the little shitty-faced bloke, "Then you can hocus pocus me pretty!" And his little heart made a happy bumbooddybum booddybumbumbum. But the old fairy wife said only sadly: "Noho, sorry, I can that not and nobody can that because that does not go but I have one or two very good pieces of advice for you. You are so fucking ugly and a disgrace to the eye and that does never will change. So why don't you hang yourself up, you bloody Blödkopp(7)?!" And with a magical tingelingelingeling she disappeared away how she had come in the first place. And the little Sac-Face went to the writingtable opened a Schublade(8), took out a rope and hanged himself up until he was quite dead indeed, yes. And if nobody has cut him off in the meantime then he does probably still hang there around, huh. Yes indeed.


(1) Lady Di, jetzt geht's dabei - Lady Di, let's have sex
(2) Gerät hier - this machine
(3) Arschkeks - asshole
(4) sogar - even
(5) Fee - fairy
(6) geil - fantastic
(7) Blödkopp - idiot
(8) Schublade - drawer